Task for Week 2

(Sorry not to get this up earlier--I was waiting for more people to get signed in, but I see I'd better get going...)

When I ask students to find sharp details from personal essays, many seem not quite to understand what I mean. So let's start with one particular type of detail–the image. Images use words to give the reader sensory impressions: sights (most often), sounds, smells, tastes, textures. For this week, look for a sentence that gives (in that one sentence) a clear picture (or other sensory image).

Here's one that comes to mind for me from a Roger Angell essay titled "Long Voyage Home" about the 2004 baseball season:

"On his off days, Pedro Martinez settled capless into his upper corner of the dugout, wearing only remainder bits of the Boston uniform, and delivered momlike nods and smiles toward the unbuttoned Manny as he ambled toward the bat rack again."

I like the "momlike" (which is a surprise but seems right) and the "unbuttoned Manny" (which efficiently delivers his dishevelment).

And from the first page of novel I just picked up today (Tom Rachman's The Imperfectionists):

"A kitchen towel hangs from her shoulder and she wipes off her fingers, damp from peeled potatoes, dishwashing liquid, diced onions, scented from mothballed blankets, soil from the window boxes--Eileen is a woman who touches everything, tastes all, digs in."

Here I like how much of her character is conveyed through details, and how much of her surroundings. Nice rhythm with balanced structures. Also I like the way the author saves the general statement for end of sentence, letting reader experience Eileen before interpreting her (the way one does in real life).

If you find a sentence this week containing such a sharp image, please add it as a separate post. In the label box at the bottom of the posting window, please add the word "image" so that we can sort entries if anyone finds a great example in the weeks to come.